That I desired and had not in my actual existence

(Pictures taken by yours truly in Sydney 2011)

Missing living with my friends in Sydney, in dire need of a holiday yet am severely lacking in funds. I'm reading Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre again and it's bringing back so much memories. 

"Then my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of the third story, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and solitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright visions rose before it - and, certainly, they were many and glowing, to let my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled it in trouble, expanded it with life, and, best of all, to open my inward ear to a tale that was never ended - a tale my imagination created, and narrated continuously, quickened with all of incident, life, fire, feeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence. 

It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot."

Feeling tired, slightly stifled, mildly dissatisfied and the tiniest dismayed. I do love Singapore, I really do. I can't imagine calling anywhere else home. But the place that offers me the most comfort may sometimes also be the place that stifles me most. I tend to find myself feeling rather unhappy living here although I can't seem to put my finger on the exact reason why. Perhaps it's the education system or the daunting workforce that I have yet to fully jump onboard, or perhaps because everything here is so ridiculously expensive yet disappointingly small... Maybe it's because my life has been way too good and therefore, giving me some liberty to whine about the little that I find is lacking. 

Am I the only one who wishes to move out of Singapore? Am I being ungrateful for wholeheartedly wishing to do so? :/ I really don't know.

Oh well k I'm off to soothe my ill-explained discontentment with some shuteye and background saxophone music. Maybe I'm just tired. I'm kidding. I know that's definitely not the reason why.
KGNBAI~